"It was like Ground Hog Day. He popped out of a hole, and we got four more years of Bush." —Bill Maher, on Saddam's capture

"For the last four days, they've been interrogating Saddam Hussein. ... He denies knowing Osama bin Laden. He said 'Oh sure, I'd run into him at industry functions, but I didn't really know him.'" —David Letterman

"Saddam's daughter defended him, saying the U.S. must have drugged or gassed him. Otherwise, he never would have surrendered. Let me tell you something, the guy was living on hot dogs, Spam and Mars bars, and living in a tiny hole. I think he gassed himself." —Jay Leno

"President Bush said today that when he was told Saddam Hussein had been captured he was up at Camp David reading a book. I don't know what's the bigger shock, capturing Saddam or finding out Bush was reading a book." —Jay Leno

"When they caught Saddam Hussein, he had more than $750,000 dollars. When he heard this, President Bush immediately invited Saddam to a fundraising dinner" —Conan O'Brien

"I'm watching the clip of Saddam Hussein with the big beard and the whole thing and this might be a long shot in terms of theories are concerned — but is it possible that in the nine months he was on the run, he was actually studying to become a rabbi?" —Jon Stewart

"It's ironic that they found him in a hole since the term 'A-hole' has been used to describe him so many times." —Jay Leno

"They took a DNA sample from him — that's gotta be humiliating. One day your the president of the entire country, the next your being forced to give a DNA sample. And Clinton said 'tell me about it!'" —Jay Leno

"When he was captured, he was surrounded by the only nine remaining people who didn't want him caught — the Democratic candidates." —Jay Leno