It's nineteen years since my Dad died on his birthday, Dec 27th, and we held his funeral on Hogmanay...ready to start the new Year afresh. You can't forget your loved one and it's not easy to get over the 'first (or any) Christmas, birthday, anniversary without them there. Reminders are around everywhere...but SO ARE FRIENDS - Mudcatters too - who have filled these pages with such love and help. I hoped to meet an old pal next week after 14 years but sadly his Father died on Christmas Eve..and he's got a lot of sorting out to do. I felt able to talk to him about his grief and thanks to many comments made 'here' I was able to give helpful suggestions along with my heartfelt wishes. David was one who was 'there' for me after my Fathers death and when I sat night after night crying to him and Elaine about my Dad I always apologised for ruining their evenings. They always replied that though they hadn't been through the grief of losing a parent they'd be likely to experience it in the future and helping me through my grief might help them when 'their time 'came. Now it has! I shall get on the phone and maybe call in when I'm down their part of the country. All too soon we forget how much that message/call/thought/ really counted. KEEP IN TOUCH. The griever may not react to every call or offer of help. Remember they cannot be expected to think too clearly while still in shock. I believe Allison, through her sadness, still recognises just how much love is generating towards her and I hope David (Raptor) can gain from that same love. David, I offer you my hugs and thoughts. Take the time to keep in touch, give yourself time to grieve and don't be afraid to cry. It is allowed! Take care.
Hazel.