I thought a friend had these lyrics but she can't find them and I need them fast...

SOmeone wrote a parody of "Diamonds are a girl's best friend" called "unions are a girl's..." or "The union is a girl's..."

It has some great lines like "When a pat on the butt is what's called motivation..."

Anyone have the complete lyrics? I have looked at the other (non-folk) lyric sites, to no avail. Many Thanks.