A young, punky looking fello with earrings, spiked hair coloured purple, blue, green, red, yellow and shades in between was being foul-mouthed on a bus. An older gentleman asked him to please keep it down. The kid got abusive with him. The older fellow began to look at him, fixedly. The kid said, "And what the f#ck are you lookin' at?" The man siad, "Well, I used to be in the navy. One evening in Singapore I got terribly drunk, and my mates tell me I had sex with a parrot. And I was just wondering if you might be my son."