Bassic -- quite a story; I am moved to *absolute* sympathy!

I think you shouldn't feel "prohibited" from using whatever memory aid (notice, no psuedo-French from me) you need. If your perfomance is heartfelt, no one should worry that you may feel the need to glance at the first line of each stanza, or whatever. I'm sure your singing would be more than sufficiently genuine -- hell, your electronically-transmitted prose is moving enough; your actual live singing could only be moreso.

And if anyone gives you grief for using notes that you may or may not be observed to consult -- you've got to be confident enough to ignore them, or better yet to tell them off!

(In return, I expect you to be forgiving of me, and players like me, when we have to resort to using a capo.)