It ain't easy livin' on bananas and cheap booze when ya got bills to pay. A Grand on the desk and a hundred bucks a day can go a long way toward fixin' a problem like that. But it can't fix the ache in your heart. Hell, that's why I drink. I'll kiss a mandrill's rainbow tail before you catch me groomin' a human. Well, I might make an exception in one or two cases...but it would have to be a real special human. I ain't namin' no names either. This general must pull a lotta weight. I know what kind of money gets spent on military contracts. Enough money to keep a chimp in ripe mangos till the last trumpet call, Clyde. Lemme tell ya somethin', buddy...there ain't no bugs on Chongo Chimp! I use Mennen's products every day and I keep a clean hide. You want bugs, you just go down to the Bundolo Club on a Saturday afternoon and hang out with the gorillas in the poolroom. You'll go home with bugs you never even heard of. If you go home at all, that is...they don't like humans at the Bundolo Club.

Chongo