We used to open the c-rats cans a bit, prop 'em up on rocks or something, put a ball of C-4 explosive about as big as the end of your thumb under 'em, light the C-4 (it burns hotly, but doesn't explode without a blasting cap), and when it went out a few seconds later the c-rats were nicely hot.

Cook spaghetti for a while or until you think it's done. Drain off the water. Serve with Out Sauce or with tomato catsup (or ketchup). Or with a dollop of butter or margarine. If you want to be fancy sprinkle some dried parsley on it.

Desserts. Desserts haven't been mentioned. Bakeries were created so you wouldn't have to make desserts. But if you want to impress people, buy some of those round cream puffs. Put one of them on a paper doily on a small saucer. Dribble chocolate sauce on it. This is called a "profiterole" in France and costs a bundle. Tell everyone it took just HOURS to make. And, of course, there's always ice cream. To impress 'em with ice cream, drizzle creme de menthe and creme de cacao over French vanilla ice cream.

Or just buy a pie and heat it up some.