Ah Cara dear, I would NEVER say an unkind word about corn!!! Karen would...well, not about corn, but more in the way I eat it. This time of year I maximize my corn eating to the utmost and the fresher it is, the better. But I'll eat anything, even if it's bad corn. One time Denny and I ate 30 ears between us at one sitting...it was positively the BEST either of us had ever had and the next day, the guy was gone!!! Bummer.......

Karen's problem is one of "watching and listening." From mid-July through early September, I serve corn at least 4 times a week and we've been known to have it daily. As any true afficionado knows, eating corn on the cob is NOT a neatness contest......what kind of asshole could possibly enjoy it that way? No, the REAL corn eater has the mouth chompin', the juices squirtin', the butter drippin', and the debris flyin'!!! Technique varies, but the overall carnage is the same. Karen wants to put up a barrier around me with a sign that reads, "CAUTION! KEEP HANDS AND FEET AWAY FROM THE MACHINERY!" The season comes on me like a fever and every year I promise her that we'll just have it a few times and every year I'm a liar. The "Corn Fever" takes over and that's the end of my good intentions. And every year at the end of August, I see divorce approaching, but the season ends, I apologize and promise next year will be different...........She knows it won't..........NO ONE is luckier than I to have found this wonderful woman who still loves me every year after sweet corn season...not to mention the other 10 months when I'm just a general embarassment. I think it does sadden her to see Michael into corn and eating it like the Old Man. Daddy's boy for a fact!

Spaw - Never plagued with constipation in sweet corn season.