I've been thinking about this thread and wondering if I should open my mouth, seeing as I don't have kids. Naturally, I decided not to keep quiet.

Love itself is not an intentional thing. It's like saying "the best thing you can do for your soul is believe in God." Unless you're very good at convincing yourself what you believe is truth is not truth, or what you feel about someone is not what you feel, you can't do these things on purpose. I do think kids who grow up in a family where the parents love each other and their children (I was in such a family) are very lucky.

I think the anonymous poster who mentioned respect had it right. Of course, respect is built in to many folks' definition of love. I've seen too many people who started out loving each other begin to take each other for granted, and stop saying things like 'please,' 'thank you,' and 'I love you.' Sometimes people treat strangers with more courtesy than their spouses or kids. If kids learn respect from parents who love them (no matter what they feel for each other) they'll learn it. They'll learn how to argue without being mean, they'll learn that everyone's opinion counts no matter who agrees or doesn't, and maybe they'll learn not to hit someone or worse when they get mad.