Don't know that this will ever get back to the Mrs. Freightdawg, but if I could plan my own funeral it would be like this:

While people are being seated the organist would be playing Kansas' "Dust in the Wind." Few would catch on, and those that did would hopefully bust out laughing, knowing what a twisted, sarcastic sense of humor I had. Then move on with the sounds of John Denver's "Eagles and Horses." This would remind people that I was a free spirit. My obituary would be read in between JD's "Rocky Mountain High" and "I Guess He'd Rather Be In Colorado," two truly biographical songs saying what I would like to be said. Then, in memory of the love of my life there would be JD's "A Song For All Lovers." Just before the preacher gets up to wax eloquent about my life there would be a rendition of "Life's Railway to Heaven," and the Isaacs'"Is Not This The Land of Beaulah." Then, just when everyone was thinking that this was a real serious event, the service would be dismissed with a rousing rendition of "Forest Lawn" and everyone would file past my now lifeless body to inumerable rounds of Mac Davis' "It's Hard To Be Humble."

"Oh Lord its hard to be humble,
when your perfect in every way,
I can't wait to look in the mirror;
I get better lookin' each day.
To know me is to love me,
I must be one hell of a man;
Oh Lord, its hard to be humble,
But I'm doing the best that I can."

Then everyone could go out, hoist either a beer or an iced tea, and remember what a cantankerous old galoot I really was, regardless of what the preacher said.

Freightdawg