Oh, well, might as well post a Canadian Forces version, mostly sung in the Air Force. Some duplication with Randolph-Legman.

Lydia Pink

Chorus:
We'll drink a drink a drink
To Lydia Pink a Pink a pink,
The saviour of the human race.
For she's invented a vegetable compound,
And all the papers, they publish her face.

Now Mrs. Brown had an invisible bosom,
It barely showed beneath her blouse.
She rubbed her chest with the vegetable compound,
And now they milk her with the cows.

Now Brother Bill had-a been castrated,
He never had a single nut.
He rubbed his crotch with the vegetable compound,
And now they dangle round his butt.

Mrs Jones had a very bad stricture,
She could hardly bear to pee.
So they gave her some vegetable compound,
And now they pump her direct to the sea.

Mr. Brown had a very small penis,
And he could hardly raise a stand.
So they gave him some vegetable compound,
And now he comes to either hand.

Mrs. green was having a baby,
And the pain was hard to bear.
So they gave her some vegetable compound,
Now she's having it over a chair.

Mrs. Black had a very tight grommet,
And she could hardly pee at all,
So they gave her some vegetable compound,
And now she's like Niagara Falls.

Now Mrs. Murphy had baby trouble,
To have a baby made her fear.
So they gave her some vegetable compound,
And now she has them twice a year.

Now Mrs. Johnson had husband trouble,
She did not know how to fiddle-dd-de.
But when they gave her some vegetable compound,
They had to tie her to a tree.

Anthony Hopkins, "Songs From The Front And Rear, 1979, Hurtig Publishers, Edmonton, Canada, pp. 176-177.

Click to play Front & Rear tune