How would you go about helping your mom (my maw in law) understand that it is OK to use the great savings they have for your dad's (my paw in law's) longterm care? I know a lot of it is sticker shock-- they do have some pretty nice extended care insurance, but she's just realized it's not going to be enough. She seems to be stuck on the idea that it's more important to leave a nice estate than to use the funds now.

Where is that paradigm shift located?

????

~Susan