So what are the alternatives? I mean, if she isn't wanting to spend savings on longterm care and his insurance will max out, what does she plan to do? Or is it a situation of making a choice of one really REALLY nice care facility (which would require the extra savings) or an okay care facility that likely not exhaust his current extended care insurance? Do you think your MIL is concerned about having an estate to care for her children after she is gone or is she needing that savings to make ends meet now or for just in case? Is your FIL able to verbalize coherently what he wants to happen or has he lost his power of attorney at this point? Outside care is always hard for everyone involved. I don't envy you, Hardi or his parents.

Michelle