Hi I live in the UK and have just spent the last 6 months dealing with my parents issues they are both 87.

My mother became quite ill and it was obvious that my father coudn't look after her anymore, so I reluctantly allowed social services to put my mother into a home.
My father was not accepted into a home because they said he was OK. He was so upset - phone calls everyday, crying the lot. Very stressful
I took the issue up legally and fought social services on the grounds of seperation and human rights. I won before having to go to court.
They are now in the same Care home near to me. I insisted that they could no longer handle their affairs properly and they accepted that.
I am now Enduring Power of attorney for everything. I am making sure that they spend their money and enjoy life as best as they can. They seem to be settled now, although my mothers life expectancy is very short.
Non of the children are interested in their money. We want them to spend it.

Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and get on with things no matter how sad/hard or traumatic they may seem. I can put hand on heart and say that I have done everything in my power to help keep them together for as long as they live. Not doing anything, even though at times it was a big battle, would have been failing them.
I am not proud that I had to make the decisions, but somebody had to.