MMario, you said:

and there of course you get into another conundrum - as far as I can figure out - "rudeness" surely has to be a matter of INTENT - though action or inaction can per percieved as rude - can it actually be rude without the intention?

To paraphrase a famous former President of the United States, "Depends what the meaning of 'is' is."

If it's intended as rude, it is rude, no question about it.   Even if the recipient doesn't take offense.   

But even if it's not intended to be rude, it may be rude if, for example, the act or comment shows a disregard of the feelings or rights of the recipient.

And obviously, if there is no intent to be rude and the recipient receives it in the same spirit, there's no problem and no rudeness.

So I conclude that rudeness may be a matter of either intent or carelessness, negligence, or the like.


Dave Oesterreich