TTR- thanks; that's the one trouble with this kind of forum is sometimes we (I) don't always get the nuance that lets me know the real intent of a post.

Brucie, no sympathy if you don't want it, but respect and gratitude for trusting us with your story.

Villan, empathy from here, too- AS was not in the US diagnostic manuals when my child was 4. His nursery school teacher told us that he was "emotionally disturbed" but none of the specialists who observed him could find anything "wrong". At the age of 5 we were told he was gifted, and should be in a small private school- but that they would not be able to pay for it.

In 1994 AS made it into DSMIII(revised) and a school counselor suggested we let him get tested again. Lo- he fit every criteria for AS. From then on he has gotten full support at school, and has made huge leaps. He'll graduate from high school in June, go on to college in September. He has learned to drive and started a weekend job last month.

He still comes to me for "deep pressure" hugs, still comes out with that same kind of outrageous humor that Villan told about (I loved the "gay" story- so familiar!). He's hopeful and mature and starting to understand where he needs to "bend" to let those around him understand him. He's a great kid, and I'm proud of him.

He should be able to have a career (most likely in computer science!) live on his own, and lead a full life. But yes, I do worry about how it will be when I'm no longer around. Knowing his sister, she'll be looking out for him- but not taking care of him (which is as it should be!)

Allison