Some of you may not remember that deer hunting while drunk, a popular pastime, was almost hazardous to the health of Buford. He and Paw and Cletus had a few and then went out to bag a deer. Living in Deer Region 4 in Ohio, this is no great feat as the population is monstrous! Here's the story as Cletus told it later:

Catspaw woant lettus have no guns roundt hiz house senz he doan want the kids a gittin into em ur nuthin. 'Course he woan lettus play "Sink the Cheerios" in his toilets no more either. An ta tell yall the truth, me an Paw an the Reg boyz doan use guns too much now senz thet time a few years back thet we had one uv them huntin axseedents. We hadda few an went out ta git us a deer ur sumpin an we wound up gittin our buddy Buford. We dint report it ur nuthin but Paw said a few words over him.

EULOGY FOR BUFORD

O Lord, take our good buddy Buford into thy Heavenly Herd. He was a good ol' boy who knew that 27 was his limit, 'les somebody else was drivin'. So you gotta' forgive him for wearin' that brown coat with the white fanny pack 'cause it was about all he had left to wear after his ex sicced that lawyer fella' on him for back child support. And God, please bestow your benediction on me an Cletus. We had no way aknowin' that Buford had fallen into that dead and rottin' sycamore and got that funny lookin' branch stuck in his coonskin hat. 'Sides that Lord, there MUSTA' been sumpin' wrong with them three Head Cheese sandwiches that Buford had with his beers. I mean when he has aretchin', well me and Cletus woulda' swore it was a buck in rut. So long Buford, we'll miss yuh. We're awful sorry, but I know you understand...'specially since you had a kinda' similar thing happen a few years back with your ex-brother-in-law, Hiram. Dear God, please take our friend's soul to your bosom and forgive him his earthly transgressions. Cletus and me are gonna' take his beat up ol' pick-up and his Ithaca and leave his dead ass right here...'cause ain't nobody else gonna' miss him. Plus, the S.O.B. didn't have no money and we can't afford no funeral or any more trouble with the Law. AMEN

It all turnt out OK tho an it shor wuz lucky whut we dint bury the ol' boy cuz he wuz jest nocked senseless cuz the shot hit him inna backpack whair he wuzza haulin a 12 pack uv Iron City. So we kinda figgered we shud givvup on either the beer or the guns so we figgered weed stick with the beer.

CLETUS