i have been single for four years, and found the first four weeks the hardest. extremely tough. but then I got used to it, and even got to enjoy my peace.

i don't know what this has to do with music, but I have found as I've got older that people become more of themselves, more uniquely different, as we move through the decades. and that means also knowing clearly what you want to get close to, and what you can't tolerate. being eccentric, having particular interests, having a blunt sense of humour, all these things make up a cocktail of attraction of deterrence. people are less prepared to compromise or modify behaviour when older.

Birds display with their dances and feathers (have you ever witnessed brolgas dancing? .. be entranced).

we display with our wit, our music, our eyes.

for me the important things are intelligence, humour, a particular political view, confidence, and talent.

some people have been very frank on this thread. there are lots of reasons, explanations, hopes and horror stories.

Recently I went to a fund raising party with some girlfriends. There were some very distinguished looking, extremely well dressed men there, aged in their 50-60s.. One of them came over to our table and flirted heavily. He was a very charming man. when he introduced himself and his friends by nickname, I recognised them as some of the most dangerous crims in Australia. The Silver Fox, Abo Henry, etc... we had a very pleasant night, but I didn't give him my phone number.

some people say that going looking is the way. but for me it has only happened when i wasn't looking.

so i'm not (but does that mean i really am?)