Dear B&B,

I have become single a couple of times now as a mature woman & have had the same experience you had. Frankly, I don't find dating as a non-teenager to be much fun. I don't think men have changed--sex tends to be a strong drive for them--but I think they are more comfortable with letting their desires be known. Although I might prefer a bit more of a romantic flare, I can deal w/ the honesty of a man telling me, upfront, that he wants to sleep w/ me. At my current age of 50, I am confident enough in myself that I can take that information & decide whether that's what I want, too. If it's not, I try to be clear & honest in my answer. I don't think the current openness is a particular problem. The only thing that offends me is lack of honesty & mutual respect between the sexes. It's one thing to tell me you want to have sex w/ me. It's another to assume I will do so & to treat me disrespectfully if I don't choose to. Another factor, however, is to try to avoid giving mixed signals to the other sex. Many men will be looking for any indication that you *will* sleep w/ them. It is often difficult, going into a dating situation, to know what you may want to do. I've found, to my dismay, that flirting behavior can lead to misunderstandings, no matter how many rational words I utter. There's no perfect solution. I'm convinced that men & women just think differently. Good luck; I empathize!

best,

bbc