i did group therapy for a few years, and know how people can present a particular image, to others and to themselves.

people have been very open in this thread, and it has felt sincere and truthful.

we live in different continents & will probably never meet. but its interesting to talk about these things in a close yet distant way. the only thing i can compare it to is talking with a gay friend - there is mutual affection, but an understanding of no involvement. it creates a good environment for empathy & insight.

for me, i am wondering whether i will ever have a relationship again. i have developed the beginning of some physical limitations connected with ageing. I have a close relationship with my children and am becoming more "mumsy" as i get older.

to open up to someone is to take a risk. and i think inside there are a lot of feelings that want to express themselves, and a cocktail of hormones. it is so hard to see through those things to know what is really happening, plus the one step forward two steps back dance where people check each other out. to open up, & go exploring is also to place yourself at risk of feeling unrequited feelings of longing.

and it can be a real fantasy which can dissolve in a moment when the illusion bursts.

and as i said i appreciate very much other people's thoughts and openness.   

freda