The subject of toys was mentioned above. I have tried to mention this to most of these friends. The problem seems to be that many people are loath to introduce sex toys into the equation. I really do believe that lots of people still view the use of such things (or going to places where they are sold) is purely for the guys in the raincoats or the women on the street corners. I'll tell you right now that no matter how depressed, distracted or discouraged I was, if my partner came to bed with a handful of Joy Jelly and maybe even a vibrator, she would certainly get my attention(s)!

The problem of having one partner stonewall the other is unfortunately common. Effort toward maintaining a healthy relationship absolutely must be made by both partners. At the end of the day, if no effort is forthcoming by one party, it comes down to an either/or issue. Either both parties make the effort or else recognize that there is no relationship other than an empty, symbiotic one. I lived in such an arrangement for a number of years before recognizing that I deserved something much better. Self preservation won out and as painful as it was, I moved on. That turned out to be one of the very best things I have ever done for myself.