Grateful Reader, Been There too, GUEST above and all ... thank you for sharing what you did. If it's any comfort to you, your stories bring back a lot of lousy memories for me too. I'm a catter posting as a GUEST for privacy reasons ....

I was only 24 when I discovered my husband of 6 months either was so terrified of intimacy or so traumatized by whatever sexual abuse he'd suffered at the hands of other men as a teen (I found out that out later :-( ) that once the initial novelty of having a full-time partner wore off, the honeymoon was REALLY over, for good.

The next miserable 5 years were 99.9% sexless. He'd spend his weekends at strip bars taking comfort with hookers, I'd spend mine home alone with the babies, wondering how I could have become so "ugly" to him so soon after the wedding. (It HAD to be all MY "fault", of course, in my way of thinking at the time ...) That I had taken a vow to spend the rest of my earthly existence with him felt like a death sentence, at the ripe old age of 24. It took a LONG time before I was unhappy enough to break that vow and send him packing. But I'm SO glad now that I did!

Today, a couple decades older and wiser (having gone round not quite the same but a couple very similar tracks since), and quite contentedly mate-free for the last several years, I can only say I'm MOST grateful to have finally discovered that Love truly does begin within, after all!

... And those who seek to know Me, know that your seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the Mystery; for if that which you seek you find not within yourself, you will never find it.

The Maiden (All Re-Maid!)