Just seen this thread. I've been singing Bold Sir John since about 1983. I collected by the use of a video recorder when they repeated some of the Two Ronnies programmes in a series called 20 Years of the Two Ronnies. I do not however use the same tune having devised my own in DADFAD. Having learned DADGAD and DADFAD tunings to stop people like Raggytash from borrowing my Guitar J.

The original show was broadcast in the 70's and prior to the Morris Team, which included the Two Ronnies dancing a Morris Dance. The joke was, as first sight not politically correct as the Morris team included a last minute replacement of one of the Morris men's sisters. Said buxom blonde danced about taking turns having her bottom spanked as part of the dance by the Morris team. Its first broadcast in the 70's was at a time when there was a certain amount of male chauvinism was being shown towards female Morris dance sides by some traditional male men. Some traditional sides were refusing to dance along side the female teams. The sketch was in fact a satire on this attitude. The jealous cavorting of the Two Ronnies around the young maiden and animosity created towards each other was then with a change of tempo transferred to the song. Whilst the leader of the Morris team sang the verse The Two Ronnies use the chorus to call each other names by placing emphasis on The Twit The Twit The Twit leaving the other to reply the The Bum The Bum The Bum and so on. Your flies was a suggestion that Ronnie Corbet's flies (trouser, pants, buttons) were undone.

Dave Barn's recollection of the song is not bad at all however this is my version which I had the pleasure of performing and perfecting whilst travelling around the country as "Dab Hands Roadie". The trouble with comic songs is that you can overdo them if you sing them every week to the same audience. So the perfection of comic timing can be tricky. Here is my version which is mainly copy and paste of Dave Barn's version with a few changes.

BOLD SIR JOHN

Now Bold Sir John was young and fair, and Bold Sir John was gay.
He said I'll tread the morning dew to take the air and listen to
The twittering of the birds all day, the bumblebees at play.
The twit! The twit! The twit! The twit! The twittering of the birds all day;
The bum! The bum! The bum! The bum! The bumblebees at play.

So Bold Sir John walked along observing natures farce.
Oh Mother Nature, come tell me pray, why elephants live so long they say;
But your flies live but a day then they, drop dead upon the grass".
Your flies! Your flies! Your flies! Your flies! Your flies live but a day then they
Drop dead! Drop dead! Drop dead! Drop dead! Drop dead upon the ground.

Then Bold Sir John he met a maid as on her back she lay.
Stand off stand off and come not near for I've seen many a maiden here
Get lost amongst the new mown hay so doff your cap I pray.
Get lost! Get lost! Get lost! Get lost! Get lost amongst the new mown hay.
Sod off! Sod off! Sod off! Sod off! So doff your hat I pray.

When Bold Sir John return'ed home, they gave him gin to try;
"Don't fill my cup with liquor up, nor give me grape nor grain to sup;
Pour cowslips dew into my cup, a Puritan am I".
Poor cow! Poor cow! Poor cow! Poor cow! Pour cowslips dew into my cup.
Up you! Up you! Up you! Up you! A Puritan am I.
Poor cow! Poor cow! Poor cow! Poor cow! Pour cowslips dew into my cup.
Up you! Up you! Up you! Up you! A Puritan am I.

If anyone wants the tune "LIKE WOT I WRIT" Send me a PM or I could be persuaded to put it on a CD once I finished recording the project I am at present recording with Coblers Monday.
Cheers George Clarke