I phoned up a really gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day.

We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't BELIEVE it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe try again for a little of that old magic.

"Wow!" I said, "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now! I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me!"

She laughed and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge!

"Yeah," I said, "Just so long as you don't mind a man with trousers that are a few sizes bigger than before!"

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me, saying she thought fat bald men were cute and sexy! "Anyway", she said, "I've put on a couple of kilos myself!"

So I hung up...