I've often regretted having spoken, never regretted keeping my big mouth shut.

Humour is the only thing that will get you through life.

You won't get off planet Earth alive. (A few will, but they won't get back alive.)

Rome wasn't built in a day. No employer believes this.

Usually, running away is not a viable solution.

Misery loves company. Male company doesn't love misery. (They insist on trying to help.)

It's ALWAYS later than you think. Especially for homework.

Work expands so as to fill the time available for it's completion. (Parkinson said it first.)

Saving a little money ensures that a bill will arrive.

Yawning is contagious.