I am afraid, even in these enlightened days, that a "creamy" vs "crunchy" marriage is doomed. The differences are just too great to be reconciled; even if society at large were somehow to accept this marriage of oppisetes.

It is greatly to be hoped that in such a situation, there are no children to be permanently warped by the conflict between their parents lifestyles.

True, you can find people who will claim "Some of my best friends eat smooth peanut butter" -- or "I have nothing against people who like crunchy" -- but you KNOW that, when it comes down to basics, YOUR brand will be hidden in the deep dark recesses of the pantry, in the section of the shelf holding Great-Aunt Euphrenia's cucumber-horseradish marmalade surprise....