bleary eyed this morning and drained - had a family incident last night; very physically and emotionally draining.
A problem with a student triggered a teacher-relative; when while arranging counseling and mediation for a troubled student the counseling staffs reaction was "Is it worth trying?" - and what was triggered was the survivor's guilt of several suicides in the classmates of a nephew. Having been through the system and haveing had to fight to get treatment for my nephew's depression - realizing how easily it could have been HIS funeral we attended - yet grieving for the boys who took their own lives; mourning their lives; grieving for the parents and family - with that guilty undercurrent of "Thank God it wasn't Peter".
I'm not saying our grief and mourning for the dead wasn't and isn't sincere. One of the boys I knew since he was a toddler - camped out with him; taught him in sunday school; worked with him on drama projects etc. We're a small community and there are probably more intergenerational connections then common these days. Marcus and my nephew Peter were good, close friends. And you can't help but wonder if there wasn't something that you could have done, could have said that would have helped him pull through.
Probably the worst part last night was trying to help my sister through the survivor guilt fugee was the fact that it was triggering my OWN - I didn't/don't have the additional burden of students going through similar circumstances TODAY (not directly - though I know most of them or their families) - but I don't have the answers for my own doubts, fears, worry and guilt. I didn't have any answers for her, and I probably never will. All I know is we need to cherish our young people - and give them whatever support they need. At the same time we can't let them sink into apathy. I'm not sure "no student left behind" is appropriate in all cases - but neither is "ignore the ones that are too difficult"
frustrated, drained, guilty and emotionally exhausted isn't a good state to think about this.