Barbara. Sorry to get in late on this (I've been teaching tonight) but I certainly do have some feedback. For a number of years when I sang in bars I put up with incredible rudeness and stupidity from yakkers. Whenever I talked about this, people (even other musicians) would say "Oh, they don't know they're being rude" or "well that's what happens when you sing in bars". Often the ones who talk loudest are your friends. At a certain point I guess I just sublimated the whole thing because I ALWAYS needed the money. I developed a hostility for people who go to a place with entertainment and talk through it, that is still with me in spades today. Fortunately I got out of bars before that hostility (often barely masked with humour) got me beaten to a pulp! Giving up a pretty sizeable income (for a musician) was at first devastating, but I replaced the 5 night a week bar thing with teaching and returned to playing only festivals, folk clubs, and places where people WANTED to hear folk music. Had I not, I think I might have killed somebody (I ain't kiddin' about the hostility)

It doesn't happen very often now that I've become really choosey about gigs, but when it does it still makes my blood boil. Problem is, you're in a no-win situation. If you're rude in kind, a percentage of the audience will feel sorry for the person who started it. AND you'll get a reputation for not being nice. If you talk to the person afterwards, (and they're not a total jerk) they'll probably act surprised, and feign ignorance and you'll feel that maybe you blew the whole thing out of proportion. Plus, the next time you see the person, you'll probably start thinking about it and blow your words!

I've seen singers use all sorts of ways to try and get people to shut up, and the only way it truly works is to get the rest of the audience on your side. It requires a certain amount of extoversion and can be risky, but if you can stop the song, and tell the person that you're trying to sing as best you can for everyone and that they are really making you nervous and hurting your confidence, it should work. The audience will be SOLIDLY on your side because you told the truth in a moment of crisis.

Two performers that I admire(d) Stan Rogers and Tam Kearney would just tell people to "Shut the fuck up!" and make it work. But they had (Tam still does) the delivery to get away with it.

Good luck.

Rick (blessings right back at you)