Put it in the crisper.

Practice chopping techniques.

Leave it at "that special someone's" abode and insist on coming over to retrieve it.

Attach it to the dummy in the bed when visiting Loreena Bobbit; hide in the closet until it's safe.

Enter it in the local cucumber races.

Stuff it in your trousers (next to the Tom Jones monogrammed hankies).

Feed it to your weiner dog (whom babtists don't respect).