I let my wife capture spiders in a box and put them outside the house. But that's a concession to her feelings - the usual response where I come from is to wallop them with a shoe.

I'm willing to learn from her. But after 31 years together I still cannot fold my shirts. I can iron square things a treat, mind you!

I'm not afraid of going bald. I keep telling her not to worry about it, and that hairpieces these days are made very realistic.

I multi-task all the time. Windows XP helps.

I want her to be all the she can, and I stopped threatening her.

And I know how to use words to convey emotion. 4-letter ones are best, especially when you just walloped your thumb with the hammer while trying to hang up her latest masterpiece. "Oh dear me, but this hurts!" does not cut it - you need effing and blinding.

I guess that makes me sensitive enough?
What do you mean "no", you *%&$"£"*&"(&%^ of a *&%$££%"!
It's tough being perfect...