I am a 36-year-old teenager with a crotchety lady buried not so deep inside! I get crotchety when I see those 19-year-old girls showing their underwear above their jeans - we sure as hell didn't do that when I was 19! And what's with those stupid looking baggy pants? And all you kids who think the 80s were so cool - look here, they weren't, all right? I've already lived through punk rock and pink mohawks (though I never had one myself) and I don't need to go there again. And when I was younger, everything was closed on Sunday! We had to sit around on our brains and do homework or watch the Wide World of Sports. And we liked it! We loved it! It was glorious!

(howzat?) ;-)