Dear Alona Lott,

You will no doubt be pleased to learn that I am no back in my surgery after sabbatical leave abroad and ready to answer both your and other patient's questions.

This matter of "regular" keys appears nearly every day, sometimes several times a day. As you have observed mandolin players, in particular, have a habit of being "regular" and it could indeed be something to do with all their chops. Also the banjo player's question indicates that he is mildly irregular and, indeed, this may be verified by close observation of either this individual or, indeed, any available banjo player.

I do believe that you can instinctively learn "regular keys" like the mandolinist. I think the real secret here is to know and to understand which keys are the constipated ones.

Bb is definitely a conspitated key and recent astronomical observations have indicated that it is universally so. Eb is also fairly constipated. You may verify this for yourself by viewing footage on the newsreel of jazz musicians. Notice how hard the brass players are straining to get a note from their instrument with their cheeks bloated and their eyes popping?

If you particularly avoid these highly constipated keys, and possibly also Ab and F which also have a tendancy towards compaction, then you will almost certainly find that you are "regular" and will be the friend of manolin players everywhere. Possibly the banjo player made this remark as the mandolin player may have been playing in a non-constipated key other than the midly irregular G, which is particularly reserved for banjo players.

I know this is a long explanation but, Dear Alona, I hope very much it will help you work things out.

Yours most sincerely,

Dr. Guitar