The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #70058   Message #1194303
Posted By: beardedbruce
26-May-04 - 12:40 PM
Thread Name: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest
GUEST,Shlio:

little/bitter and tunes/ruins are not the best of rhymes. Irregular line length, as well.

But I like the 1st/last stanza progression. Not bad imagery at all. Perhaps you can work on the structure a little?