Mark your calendars for this Saturday.

As you may already know, it is a sin for a Taliban male to see any woman other than his wife naked, and that he must commit suicide if he does. So this Saturday at 4 p.m. BST all British women are asked to walk out of their houses completely naked to help weed out any neighbourhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.

All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not taliban, and to demonstrate that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all British women. And since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-taliban sentiment. For good measure, have various pork products cooking on your BBQ grill.

The government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity. It is your patriotic duty to pass this on.