Hi jOhn. You spelled "foreign" correctly but "shop" wrong. Monkey piss? Not likely from Denmark. Maybe they cut it with loganberries. I too am waxed carton challenged and usually take a pair of scissors to the OJ carton before I get drowned.

Now, mustard and ketchup packets...when Burger King first started serving salads, I ordered one. With it came a sealed packet of Italian Dressing. I ripped and tore and got nowhere. Picture this - I am dressed in a business suit, heels, briefcase, very smart looking. I get the bright idea to squeeze the packet and force out some dressing.

The little boy sitting across from me with his mother started laughing hysterically while she tried to shut him up. The dressing shot out in a fountain and landed on my head, dripped down onto my jacket, and even managed to make it to the salad. The best part? I still had two more appointments to keep that day.

Remind me to tell you about the time I used a pay phone in a snowstorm and was nearly electrocuted.