Wellwellwell...I yam remiss and tardy in wishing ar own Spaw wif birthday happiness, but this iz perdy much a permathread anyhow so I will be the first to wish you a happy birfday for June 8, obv 2005.

I hope you will git off yore lazy, methane-spewing ass and give us news of CLETUS, Pa, and them super-hero RegBoys, but I reckon you habv been busy wif makin' yore diddly bows obv late and habv no time for such pleasantrees these days.

Anyhow, Happy Birthday you old fuck. Mebbe Karen will git you some new shorts and burn the old ones.

Yerz,
Tweed