OK I guess I havent had that much to do this sunday evening and so I find myself reading this thread with morbid fascination thinking Oh no there couldnt be anything worse than that until the next post or two and then someone tops that. I'm really glad I havent heard quite a few of these horrors as yet or they havent quite made their way to my small isolated corner of Australia as yet.

So not to let the world out there think that Australian crap is of a lesser standard that your overseas variety try these for size!

My all time worst song is "Duncan" written by Aussie Country artist Slim Dusty. Slim is better known for this tripe than some of the really great songs he wrote in ealrier years. It made him a truckload of money but I'm buggered if I know why. I wish someone would pay me money to write crap tlike that. Heres a sample:

I'd like to have a beer with Duncan
I'd like to have a beer with Dunc
We drink in moderation
and we never ever get rolling drunk
We drink at Town and Country
where the atmosphere is great
I love to have a beer with Duncan
'cos Duncans me mate

Duncan is closely followed by "The Real Thing" a piece of so called Aussie rock and roll history. The verse and chorus go like this:

Come and see the real thing, come and see the real thing, come and see.
Come and see the real thing, come and see the real thing, come and see.
There's a meaning there but the meaning there doesnt really mean a thing.
Come and see the real thing come and see the real thing come and see.

I am the real thing, ooh mow me mow mow
ooh mow me mow mow
ooh mow me mow mow
ooh mow me mow mow
ooh mow me mow mow
ooh mow me mow mow
ooh mow me mow mow
ooh mow me mow mow......... and so on to verse two.

This crap went on for about 7-8 minutes when it was released and once again made the artist (Russell Morris) a truck load of money.

I've heard it said that these guys werent on anything when they wrote it but I went thru the 60's and 70's too and I have been able to recognise the trademark of profound lyrical meaniglessness when I see or hear it ever since then.

As a parting shot I still get the horrors from the time 25 years ago when I came across somone singing the complete version of Glenlogie unaccompanied at the Dan O'Connell hotel. And from the same time and era there is Morris music which is I guess another story perhaps for another thread unles its been done to death already.

Nuff for now anyway

Cheers!