You must pardon young Clinton - he always would say anything, absolutely anything - to draw attention to himself and really annoy everybody else.    At school, pretending indifference to serious matters would get his teachers really riled up, and that experience has led him to use the same tactics ever since.   

I blame myself for how he turned out.   If he hadn't gone to all those pot parties after choir practice, he might still have a mite of common decency left.

Alas, that was not to be.   My apologies to all you good people.   I am terribly ashamed of what I allowed to happen.   Please forgive me.

John Hammond IV
Executive Vice President
Enron Political Lobby