OK, since nobody else seems interested, I decided to have a go. Naturally, my transcription is full of holes. Maybe my attempt will inspire someone else to do better.

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THE RUMOUR

There are lots of things for spreading, too numerous to name.
There's fire, manure, then, of course, there's fame.
But the thing that spreads the quickest, I'm sure you will agree,
Is the spoken word of rumour. Listen, and you'll see.
Now the rumour that I speak of was started by a man
In Inverness. He whispered it in behind his hand:
Here, Wullie, have you heard the ... it's really dreadful stuff.
I heard it when I was ... so it must be right enough
Now Wullie was quite upset when he heard what it must have been
He ... his brother George who lived in Aberdeen
Is that a fact? ... It's give me quite a shock
... cousin Jock.
Instead he telt his ... a bus conductor's lass.
She ...
... just keep it to yoursel'."
Of course, he kept it just like her, and he couldn't wait to tell.
...
... tell a fisherman ...
... I mean,
He couldna wait to tell ... Dundee
... a willna tell, I promise on my life
Of course, he took it sacred and the story entered Fife.
Now here, sir, ...
...
Now mair and mair and more and more the story spread aroun'
Till they spelt it out in capitals in Edinburgh toun
They shouted it in ... and then grew more discreet,
For the story passed ... into Crimson Street.
... on the Glasgow train the very selfsame day,
So if you come frae Glasgow, you'll have heard that, by the way
That's not where it went, for the story was then passed
To a steamer sailing westward toward Ireland and Belfast.
... said, "That really is a shame."
But they didn't like the rumour, so they sent it back again
... headin' northward to ... Kintyre
But this time it was spreading freely ...
...
Once again by way of water the story passed to ...
But they didn't spread it further and the reason is because
By the time they'd paid the toll bridge, they'd forgotten what it was.