2 old ladies sitting outside an old peoples home smoking a cigerette, and it starts to rain, so one old lady gets out a condom snips off the end and puts it over her fag. What's that said the other one "oh it's a condom" where do you get them from? she asks, you can get them anywhere. The next day she goes into the shop and asks for a packet of condoms, "what size asks the shop keeper? "oh any as long as it fits a camel"
:))

2 monkeys go to have a bath, one gets in and goes ooohh oohh aahh aahh, (monkey noises) and the other says well put some cold in you silly bastard.
~Debs~