Maryrrf,

I've been a 'muso' since the 1950's when I was first induced to undergo 'formal classical music training'. I never heard modes mentioned as such at first, but they gradually intruded on my musical consciousness. As such, I've been struggling to acquire 'an understanding' of 'modes' ever since. I sympathise with your ... confusion?...!

There are many people's different 'versions' of 'definitions of modality', which complicate understanding. Your current intended approach of 'just doing it' will lead to a more instinctive understanding.

Remember, it is the journey, not the destination which is important.

Robin