Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely
evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing
wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist - he insulted
me terribly this morning on the phone."

Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the
druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say
more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now,
just a minute - listen to my side of it. This morning the
alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went
without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be
damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and
car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys.

Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about
three blocks from the store I had a flat tire. When I finally got
to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to
open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on
these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing
its head off. Then I had to break a roll of nickels against
the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled
all over the floor.

I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels -
the phone is still ringing - when I came up I cracked my
head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger
back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles
on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke. The phone
is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it.

It was your wife - she wanted to know how to use a rectal
thermometer.

And Mister, I TOLD HER!"