Second attempt; my confuser blew up on me last time round.

It's a mistake to believe there SHOULD necessarily be seven verses; see the note at the end of this version. Which was submitted to DTrad a while back but appears not to have made it into the database:

TH'OWD CHAP
===========

Recorded by Ewan MacColl on 'Saturday Night at the Bull and Mouth'; Blackthorne BR1055 1977

Th'owd chap came ower t'bank, bawling for his tea,
Saw a pair o' mucky clogs where his owd clogs should be,
Come here, wife, come here wife, what's this here I see?
How come this mucky pair o' clogs where my owd clogs should be?
Y'owd bugger, ye daft bugger, can't you plainly see?
That's just a couple of pickle jars me owd mam sent to me.
I've been ower hills and dales, me lass, and many a grassy moor,
But girt hob-nails on a pickle-jar I've never seen before.

Th'owd chap came ower t'bank, bawling for his tea,
Saw a coat on back o' t'door where his owd coat should be,
Come here, wife, come here wife, what's this here I see?
How come this coat on back o' t'door where my owd coat should be?
Y'owd bugger, ye daft bugger, can't you plainly see?
That's just an owd dish-clout me owd mam sent to me.
I've been ower hills and dales, me lass, and many a grassy moor,
But buttons on a dish clout I've never seen before.

Th'owd chap came ower t'bank, bawling for his tea
Saw a head on t'pillow where his owd head should be
Come here, wife, come here wife, what's this here I see?
How come this head on t'pillow where my owd head should be?
Y'owd bugger, ye daft bugger, can't you plainly see?
That's just a home-grown turnip me owd mam sent to me.
I've been ower hills and dales, me lass, and many a grassy moor,
But girt big teeth in a turnip I've never seen before.

Th'owd chap came ower t'bank, bawling for his tea
Saw a pair o' hairy cods where his own cods should be
Come here, wife, come here wife, what's this here I see?
How come this pair of hairy clods where my own cods should be?
Y'owd bugger, ye daft bugger, can't you plainly see?
That's just a couple of home-grown spuds me owd mam sent to me.
I've been ower hills and dales, me lass, and many a grassy moor,
But home-grown spuds with hairs on I've never seen before.

Th'owd chap came ower t'bank, bawling for his tea
Saw a girt big standing prick where his owd prick should be
Come here, wife, come here wife, what's this here I see?
How come this girt big standing prick where my owd prick should be?
Y'owd bugger, ye daft bugger, can't you plainly see?
That's just a home-grown carrot me owd mam sent to me.
I've been ower hills and dales, me lass, and many a grassy moor,
But a carrot diggin' a great big hole I've never seen before.

[Anyone who considers that it's a verse or two short might like to note that the two principal versions of 'Our Gudeman' in Child (no. 274) end with a broadly similar verse - with the wife in bed with one (or three) 'wrong' men; one version is six verses long, the other seven.]

G.