I think court shoes are called "pumps" in the US: a plain all-in-one upper with no laces or straps, and a heel; what a well-dressed woman would wear. (Over here, pumps are plimsolls!)

All I can find about "Tears of Allah" on the Net are (a) a shipwreck in the James Bond movie "Never say never again", and (b) something nasty to do with O. bin Laden.

I don't get the Terry Pratchett reference ...

Oh, and don't wear crimplene if you smoke: the hot ash can go straight through: very nasty. (And it's so not cool!)

Steve