Allright, I will do my best.

MMario, your wish is my command. If you will notice, I have spread in front of me 3 chopped celery stalks, 1 leek (white part only) chopped, a chopped onion, 1/2 of diced peeled celery root, 2 lbs. of watercress stemmed, 2 talespoons of vegetable oil, 6 cups of stock (vegetable preferred but you can use vegetable broth), 1 cup of heavy whipping cream, juice of 4 limes, salt and fresh ground pepper, and Parmesan cheese.

Now lad, we will take a large pot, put it over medium heat and heat the oil and use it to saute the onion, celery, leek and celery root about 6 or 7 minutes. You are trying to make it tender but you don't want it browned. Next you will stir in the stock and simmer for about 30 minutes or so. Be sure to stir it from time to time. Then stir in the watercress, raise the heat and bring to a boil. Take it and put in a blender and puree it.

Next you will need a deep mixing bowl. Beat the cream until you get small peaks and then mix it and the lime juice into the soup. Gently stir it all until it is well blended. Season it with salt and pepper to taste. Ladle it into the bowls and sprinkle a little of the parmesan sprinkles on top. And here you go, folks. Now eat it up cause you should serve this immediately. This is about 6 servings.

Now Bert, how about I make you something with the oysters that is much better with the Guinness. I will make you up some grilled oysters. Leej, pass me a couple dozen of those Oysters on the half shell. Beebs, would you get me 4 tablespoons of butter from the frige? Ok, a couple of tablespoons of good old Worcestshire sauce, we already have the salt and pepper, FAIR ONE would you cut up some of the brown bread? Thanks........Gawd but that woman is a vision of loveliness.....Oh yeah, Bert, while I am cooking, why don't you cut up some lime wedges for garnish.............Ok here we go. I will just shuck these oysters.......what?........quit being a sissy 'Spaw, it is easy......here make yourself useful and take the deep half of the shells and arrange them on the broiler pan.........Good man, now let's put them in the shells........what?......good grief man, I know they are slimy, it's what makes them great......Good, the broiler is all preheated. Now we will turn the stove on to medium and melt the tablespoons of butter. Good, now we mix in the Worcestershire. 'Spaw, here, take this sauce I just made and ladle a teaspoon over each of the oysters. Good man, now we will lightly season with salt and peppers. Good, into the broiler we go...........When they start to curl at the edges...........Allright, here we go. Now take pieces of that brown bread, which has been touched by the lovely hands of THE FAIR ONE and butter it up. Eat the oysters with the bread and a proper of the vile black stuff and you will be as close to Heaven as you can be without dying...........

A little coddle, eh, Dan. Sure an it makes me think of Saturday night in the pub. OK, but you need to give me a hand. Would you mind running to the fridge and.......how many we got here?...about twelve......Ok, get me about 24 oz of that thick sliced bacon, 3 lbs of the bangers. I will start a pot of water boiling. Rog, could you give those grilled oysters a break a minute and go get me 4 1/2 lbs of spuds, a pound of onions. And yeah, I need you to peel and slice them.......yeah, that includes the onions.......good man. OK, here we go. lets put the bangers and bacon in this saucepan, cover 'em with the water I have boiling on the stove and let it come back to a boil. We will then let that simmer for about 5 minutes. Let's have a jar of Uncle Arthurs while we are waiting......Right, now we will pour off the liquid into a bowl and save it. We will use it in a bit. Rog, you got those spuds and the onions peeled and sliced yet? Well done. Beebs, grab a couple of casserole dishes and grease them for me, will'ya? Sure you can have a hug........I should be the one askin' cuz you give great hugs.....What FAIR ONE? Nope, I just want you where I can gaze upon your loveliness......huh?.......OK,OK, I promise not to enjoy the hugs ***fingers crossed behind my back*** Anyway, back to the coddle. Lets arrange the spuds, onions, bacon and bangers in the pan.....right, now let's pour the stock we saved and salt and pepper to taste. Now we cover the pans with wax paper and put lids on the pans. Good, now we will simmer on the stove for about for 45 minutes to an hour...........huh? Yeah, you could put in the oven for about hour at 350 or so........OOOOOOOOHHHHHH, love the smell........great choice Dan. Be patient, my friends, this is worth the wait.........