I have heard from Tweed. The piano accordian has not arrived in West Palm Beach as of this writing! This is exceedingly good news as it should allow the human population of Palm Beach County at least thirty-six more hours to complete evacuation. (Since humans don't hear as well as dogs, a full-scale statewide evacuation is not necessary. Twenty-five miles in either direction of Ground Zero should do the trick.)

Meanwhile, state and federal highway officials are meeting to discuss the feasability of rerouting both Interstate 95 and The Florida Turnpike inland to the eastern shore of Lake Okeechobee. Their current routes take both of these major arteries directly through the no-mans-land the piano accordion will create. Some wags have already suggested leaving the highways where they are and issuing high-efficiency ear protection to drivers as they enter the area.