Rather than placing adverts, 'Guest Confused', I wonder if you have ever considered answering an advert from your local newspaper ? I used to occasionally look at these ads for the amusement of reading between the lines for what these people were after and what their priorities in life were - usually pretty obvious - but now and again you see a plain, straightforward one, where a man's priority is not to request a slim and/or blonde woman 10 years younger than the age he professes to be. A lot of these adverts also have a recorded voice message by the person placing the ad, that you can reply to (although they charge for this, so you do need to read the small print at the bottom of the page). Of course you have to be careful and not give away any personal details or meet anyone before you feel ready to. 'Gut' feeling and instinct count for a lot.

I may sound as though I have gone in for this a lot - but in fact not. I have not needed to ! I met a lovely man this way, the first time either of us had ever done anything like this, and we are both very happy and looking forward to our future together. What made his advert leap out from the page at me (I wasn't actively "looking") was that it was plain and simple: "Professional musician seeks honest, caring female for friendship and maybe more". He was looking for someone around the same age as himself and there was no mention about height, looks etc. His recorded voice message was equally straightforward, he sounded like someone who didn't take himself too seriously and a gut feeling told me "this is one of the good guys". I left him a message, we talked at length on the phone a couple of times and even before we had met face to face, we both knew it was going to be good, and it has just gone on getting better.

From my experience as a happy advert answerer, I would say: keep your advert straightforward; avoid physical descriptions (unless you really want a partner who cares mostly about what you look like, rather than who you are as a person); be honest about your age and realistic about the age of the person you are seeking; most definitely state your interests/field of work. It was the fact that my partner's ad began with "Professional Musician" that got me to notice it in the first place.