"The Pretzel Hold"

Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the
wrestling event.

It is narrowed down to the Russian or the American
for the gold medal. Before the final match, the
American wrestler's trainer comes to him and says,
"Now don't forget all the research we've done on this
Russian. He's never lost a match because of this
"pretzel" hold he has. Whatever you do, don't let him
get you in this hold. If he does, you're finished!"

The wrestler nods in agreement.

Now, to the match . . . the American and the Russian
circle each other several times looking for an opening.
All of a sudden the Russian lunges forward, grabbing
the American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel
hold. A sigh of disappointment goes up from the crowd,
and the trainer buries his face in his hands for he knows
all is lost. He can't watch the ending.

Suddenly, there's a scream, a cheer from the crowd,
and the trainer raises his eyes just in time to see the
Russian flying up in the air. The Russian's back hits
the mat with a thud, and the American weakly collapses
on top of him, getting the pin and winning the match.

The trainer is astounded. When he finally gets the American
wrestler alone, he asks, "How did you ever get out of that
hold? No one has ever done it before!"

The wrestler answers, "Well, I was ready to give up when
he got me in that hold, but at the last moment, I opened
my eyes and saw this pair of balls right in front of my face.
I thought I had nothing to lose, so with my last ounce of
strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just
as hard as I could. You'd be amazed how strong you get
when you bite your own nuts!"

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Dave Oesterreich