Since you've asked, I'll be heppy to 'splain the Elvis wand, for which I searched every freakin' souvenir shop in Memphis -- which, as you might imagine, is a substantial number.

Ye Olde Elvis Wand is about 12 inches long (now, mind yer manners for heaven's sake, it's just a toy) -- a slender cylinder filled with clear fluid that has gold glitter, little musical notes, stars and hearts in it. And floating in all this stuff is one tiny pink Cadillac and one really tiny little Elvis figure, both of which pretty much get lost in the swirl of glitter and stuff floating around. So the game is to find Elvis. And then, being the whimsical sort, I figure if you've found Elvis, you ought to get a wish.

I had one of these years ago and someone stole it, er liberated it, from my desk at work. So I was determined when I got to Memphis that I was going to find a replacement. Only, as it turns out, they've stopped manufacturing them. So I found one on my last day in Memphis and now have an actual collector's item. I'm so thrilled.

Graceland, for those of you who've never been there, was simply amazing. It's hard to imagine so many poor decorating choices made in one relatively small mansion. The shag carpet on the walls and ceiling and the 14 televisions were only a small part of the joy. As you walk along listening to the tour on cassette, reverentially explaining that this is the jungle room where Elvis and his friends (known in that area as the "Memphis Mafia," as I understand) used to gather in the evenings to jam and "visit," you just can't help remembering all the *other* things you've heard went on in the jungle room. (Probably having more to do with that *other* Elvis wand...)

But, hey. Icons are as icons do, as my mother used to say. I got some Elvis guitar picks, too. And ate barbecued pork ribs. And danced on Beal street until they tossed us out and closed the place down. So, all in all, it was a most satisfying trip. And, oh yeah, the conference my company paid for me to attend was really good, too.

WW