I still say remote contact is missing the eyeballs. With that firmly held you can cope with the fickleness, the loons, and the dissapointments. But Guest has it right - you have to have an angle - and that starts from you. Guest has it again when he decries "my friends say" - say it for yourself. Men are attracted by women who are at ease with their self image, (well I am). If you sound like a weak wimp then you will attract the control freaks and maybe those who are not that good at it. Come-on too strong and nice guys run. The middle ground is not wimpish unless you make it so.